– in which Dorn talks with one of the Fraternity of the Recovered.
s time goes on and the pandemic continues its inexorable spread, the number of people who have recovered from the virus mercifully continues to rise. What must it feel like, I wonder, to go through greater or lesser amounts of misery and uncertainty, and emerge on the other side? How heady is the realization, “I survived it, and I’m now immune and uncontagious!”?
Soon everyone will know someone with a story of a successful fight against the disease, but for those of us who aren’t there yet, here’s my promised interview with an actual covid recovered.
To preserve her privacy, and to protect her from the ever-present threat of plasma-poachers, I will refer to her only by her initials ER in this interview. Without any further ado, please enjoy the Interview with the Immunati.
–Trentin QuarantinoTQ. Thank you for speaking with me today, ER. I know my readers must have many questions about what life is like post-covid.
ER. It’s a pleasure to be here, Trentin. Or it would be, if I were actually here, and not conducting this interview by videoconference. You know I’m not contagious, right? Probably?
TQ. It must be a very freeing feeling to not have to think twice about who you come within 6 feet of, or who might have touched the railing before you did. I know I still have trouble wrestling with the idea of reducing social distancing, even if I rationally believe I’m not at risk.
Do you find that becoming immune to the coronavirus has changed the way people treat you? Do they look at you with a mixture of awe and envy, perhaps tinged with a bit of horror?
ER. That’s right Trentin. I’m the new variable in the equation, a new curve in the modeling. I think some people are still wary of my ability (modesty prevents me from calling it a ‘superpower’) to walk among the living without worrying about who might be carrying the virus.
Most, like you, continue to treat me the same way they would treat anyone else they interacted with—that is, with caution, or without, depending on if they believe in the coronavirus in the first place.
TQ. I see. Does peer pressure force you to continue to wear a facemask and engage in protective health measures, even though for you they have now become empty rituals?
ER. Yes, I usually find it easier when engaging with people who are still susceptible if I dispense with trying to explain that I’m not contagious, and instead just wear the mask and exhibit the other appropriate cues of social responsibility, even though medically these rituals don’t benefit them or me (probably).
TQ. That’s twice now you’ve said probably. Is there some doubt as to your immune status?
ER. There is, actually. The virus is so new that we don’t know for sure whether recovering from it even conveys immunity, and if so, for how long it lasts. Experience with other coronaviruses, and common sense, tell me that if my antibodies won the internal battle against covid-19 once, that critter will think long and hard before it tries messing with me again. But you never know.
Plus there’s an additional complication. Every indicator says that I wrestled with the coronavirus for weeks, and have now recovered, except one key one: I test negative for covid antibodies. I’m a “stealth” Immunati. Probably.
TQ. (Unconsciously moves chair a few inches further away from the videoconference screen). Yes, well, um. Elizabeth, I mean ER, you mentioned that some of the people you meet don’t even believe in the coronavirus, or at least don’t believe in its unprecedented health dangers. Do you find more people with this belief in your home state of West Virginia?
ER. I’ve told you before Dorn, I mean Trentin, I don’t live in West Virginia, I live near West Virginia, in western Maryland. But yes, when I go to West Virginia I rarely see a face mask. It’s a relief to be able to take mine off and still fit in.
TQ. In addition to the emotional freedom it can provide, there must be a significant financial advantage to no longer needing face masks, gallons of hand soap, sanitizer and toilet paper. Has being freed from these expenses significantly boosted your standard of living? What do you spend all this money on instead?
ER. I still use soap and toilet paper, Trentin. I’m an Immunati, not a savage. With the money I save on face masks we’re remodeling our house.
TQ. Your husband Mr. Rohring spent several weeks coated in a film of your virus-infested cough droplets, without developing symptoms. Do you consider him also recovered and immune, asymptomatic, or just a ticking time bomb?
ER. Oh, Bill has always been a firecracker! Seriously, we’re just hoping for the best.
TQ. While you no longer face health risks from the coronavirus, the threat of economic disruption is still equally present for Immunati and non-Immunati alike (what do Immunati call them anyway? “humans”? “mortals”?). Do you find yourself weighing the pros and cons of re-opening the country differently now?
ER. We Immunati call those uninfected and unrecovered from covid-19 “muggles” to their faces. Among ourselves, we call them “virgins”.
And while it does lift some of the personal worry to believe oneself immune, the health risks for my friends and family are still very real, so I don’t think my views on that have changed much. The economic hardship being felt by many during the pandemic is also real, and there are no easy answers, no matter how hard some try to convince themselves that there are.
TQ. Well, thanks so much for sharing, ER. As a token of my appreciation for you taking the time to be with me virtually, here’s a (virtual) T-shirt with a logo I designed myself, that might make it easier to say it loud! Immune and proud!
ER. Thank you, Trentin. My pleasure at talking with you is every bit as real as this T-shirt.
That’s it! Thanks,
Dorn
5/17/2020